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Sanity Prevails? Fuck You, Kraft.

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It is a slightly gargantuan understatement to suggest that I’m not a fan of the  soul-less marketing sector.  For someone who thinks about life, the universe and everything – it tends to be difficult to not get offended at some of the more poorly veiled examples of manipulation, evident in many companies attempts to seduce thy wallet.

So, when I saw that Kraft had called their new product “iSnack 2.0″ I wasn’t so much surprised, as angry.  Angry that a bunch of beige, creatively barren halfwits sat down in a board room  and actually came to the agreement that this was a good idea.   I immediately wondered what the reaction would be to this.

Well, the public have spoken.

You see, even an idiot can join the dots on this one

Exploitation based on the false logic that prefacing a product with a small “i” and digitising it (giving it an arbitrary version number) will in some way tack their product on to Apple’s success and ride the iSphincter all the way to profitz galore!

Worse still, this name was chosen from tens of thousands of entries in a naming competition.  It isn’t really necessary to single out the douchebag who came up with this name, but I feel certain that this guy is everything that is wrong about Apple zealots.  Apple make great products – but some people take their religious fervour for their favourite brand beyond sanity.  They’re the only type of dipshit that would actually fall for this type of “ruse”.

How many entries for this, I wonder.

The IT industry is full of these swarmy cunts.  Masking zero talent, these technosexuals attempt to hold onto their positions (doing nothing) by embracing all things currently in electovogue.  IT is largely a mystery to the other sectors of an organisation, so these talentless fools can craftily keep their jobs by making out like the ownership and operation of a device such as an iPhone validates their technological credentials.

You see middle-aged businessmen, rapidly being overcome by wave after wave of new technology, forced to reinvent themselves as “a bit of a rogue-maverick of business”, desperately using every opportunity to discuss/exude the latest gossip from the Appstore with any cunt who might listen and potentially enhance their affirmation at a later date.

Anybody who says that the unemployed are bums ought to take a good look at what some of these paperpushing wastes of space get done in a day.

Getting back to Kraft – Maybe I’m a grudge holder, but I don’t applaud a company retracting an obviously bad idea.  I think about all those meetings prior to the launch where every one in that chain of command failed to veto such an idea.  I see this as big business saying to the little man “Fuck you, we’ll treat you like a moron and if you don’t like it, we’ll retract and you’ll have forgotten next week”.  Exploitation of the stupid might be okay in your books, but what you may not realise is that the more bullshit that is allowed to fly in society, the more it will come back full circle to affect YOU.  Stupid people will get in your way all the time, letting companies perpetuate this only contributes to the furtherment of a highly moronic populace.

In years gone by, we’d simply place the heads of the decision makers on stakes outside the palace gates, but in the interests of civilisation I’ll settle for everybody who reads and agrees with me on this to not buy their products for a while.  Don’t reward companies that have zero respect for your intellect.