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Chasing The Dragon

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This is my first piece of 3d art.  It goes without saying that I’m planning on becoming a well-known and adored digital artist with a display reel that will see countless offers streaming in – all citing renditions of “We want to work with you, the genius”.

The style I’m working on here is a tad bit conservative – but I feel as if I restrict my work to pieces that can be viewed by children, the money I will make will be .. more excessive.  This is what getting into art is really about for me.  Money.   There is clarity that comes with such a motive – the resounding question of “Is this commercially viable” allows me to avoid straying upon taboo territory.

I present here, an original (one would imagine) idea encompassing a number of deep, and meaningful concepts:

“Chasing The Dragon:  The Carrot-On-A-Stick Conundrum”

Click the picture for the full piece.

Chasing the dragon

A strange, evolved creature, driven wild by his desire to complete the never ending quest to satisfy the “chinprick”.

This creature would conceivably, never be at rest.  This is irony at its finest – should he ever manage to taste the prized tactical nuclear weapon adorning his chin, it would be shredded to pieces.  What an enthusiastic chap he would be, always thrashing around, looking for new angles of attack.  If you stroke his chin, he’ll stroke yours.  If you cannot get a good friend to toss you off once in a while -you’re basically not living.

I believe that it is probably more customary to let those who wish to line my pockets theorise what my metaphorical motive for such a thought-provoking piece was.  This is a lot easier on the house of cards upon which I have built this piece.

Satan Weightlifting

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Recently in the gym, my training partner and I have been experimenting with invocation of demonic principles in order to give us a steroid-like boost, allowing us to finish sets that only the affiliated-with-satan could achieve.  We’d rather eternal damnation than pumping chemicals into our body.

It turns out this is quite simple to achieve -  We simply aim to do achieve 3 sets of 6 reps in whatever we are doing.  This, of course constructs the number 666 which makes absolutely anything you do deeply satanic (and therefore better).

We firmly believe that our new and exciting partnership with Lucifer will take us to new levels of muscularity.  We’re disappointed in Jesus – in that, he doesn’t offer the same convenient number based patronage.  There was some talk about a proliferation of the number seven in the bible, but ultimately, the theory behind lacks the penetration of the number of the beast.

Plus, 7 is another rep.  We’re not superhuman (and we’re far to arrogant to drop the weight to get more reps).  We’d be interested in discussion defection if we could come on board with team 555.  Contact details to the right.

Rick Astley, after finding the number of the beast

A thought..

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Ever since I saw Point Break, I’ve known that if were ever to stray into a career as a bank robber, it would have to be accompanied by an encyclopedic knowledge of how to produce and apply prosthetic facial features.  That way, I could indulge my crotchial urges to dress as an old woman, whilst satiating my need for flash cash.

I’m surprised there aren’t more innovators kitting up.  It is difficult these days to acquire a balaclava – I know this because I attempted to purchase one in order to shop for groceries with a warm face (this was prior to 9/11 when things were a little less rabid and a sense of humour would actually prevail).  Nowadays, it is very difficult to purchase a balaclava without being a suspected terrorist.  Better to go shopping for floral dresses and strapping tape (to keep the package muted).

An added bonus of doing this would be the insurance of capture.   I would become an overnight sensation – a pop-culture hero.  I play my cards right and financial repercussions (far outweighing the chump-change I’d be grafting for during my robberies) would accompany my release.

What girl wouldn’t want to get drilled by a man, famous for his capable and stylish execution of geriatric criminality?

Genius.